The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
