u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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