If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
