I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
