Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
