Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
