Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
