Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
it's like heaven, but drunker
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
