We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
