Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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