I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
