The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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