I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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