Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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