Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
