Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize