when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize