Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Found your dick twin last night
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
