I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
