Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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