Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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