I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
