i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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