People in love make me want to vomit
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
