If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
