And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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