And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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