Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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