Whod you bang
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
