I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
accomplished twins. life is a go
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
