I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
