8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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