I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
