You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
