Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
