Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
