Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
