im having a threesome with these popsicles
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
