okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
