winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
