Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
