Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
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