How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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