Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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