so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
