I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
