Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
