You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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