I want to make a zoo with you.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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