mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
