I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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