Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The power of my boobs compel you
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
