im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
