He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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