Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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