Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
