Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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