My hand turned me down
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
