i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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