we're blogging at a bar
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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